Funeral programs memorialize gun violence victims, others
OAKLAND, Calif. - Two dozen funeral programs are fanned out on a table in front of Sherri-Lyn Miller. Pictures of white doves, blue clouds, American flags, flowers and trees surround images of men and women, captured during happy moments of their lives.
Inside each program, the stories of their lives unfold on the pages. The memorial programs are as different as the people they pay tribute to. As Miller begins to gather up the programs, she thumbs through them one by one.
There are programs for folks who lived long lives, into their 80s and 90s, and died of natural causes. People who passed away from diseases in middle age, and scores of memorials for those whose lives ended in tragedy.
“Gun violence,’’ Miller says, continuing to flip through the programs, reciting the cause of death as she goes.
“Gun violence”
“Beaten to death”
“Strangled”
“Gun violence”
“Alcoholism”
“Old age”
“Gun violence”
“Cancer”
“Gun violence”
The list goes on and on.
About 40 percent of the programs Miller designs are for murder victims. A majority of them are young black men killed on the streets of Oakland, but she’s designed programs for children who were caught in the crossfire and killed, women who were slain because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and men and women murdered outside the city of Oakland.
Many were friends.
The 49-year-old Miller has had more friends and relatives killed than she cares to recall. During the six years she ran a print shop on the Oakland-San Leandro border, she was constantly surrounded by street memorials and always attending local funerals for murder victims.
But Miller decided not to look away, instead entrenching herself in death by designing funeral programs for grieving families who want to honor their loved ones with a lasting keepsake.
But people who have worked with Miller say she’s more than a graphic designer and obituary writer. They call her a confidant and friend who comforts and consoles the grieving during their darkest hours.
“She was a godsend. She was absolutely amazing. I will be paying her back for the rest of my life. No dollar amount could ever repay her for what she did for me,’’ said Steven Hayes, whose nephew 31-year-old Marquis Wiley of Oakland was killed in Stockton last month.
Hayes said Miller gave him advice, helped him with arrangements for the funeral service and checked on him constantly.
“She was my rock,’’ he said. “She is very knowledgeable, very kind and very compassionate. I had nothing but warm feelings from talking to her. I felt a little better every time I talked to her.” I just couldn’t have gotten through this without her. It goes so far beyond the programs.”
Miller began designing programs after her friend, 37-year-old Ronnie Jackson Jr. was gunned down during a particularly bloody weekend in East Oakland that also claimed the lives of five other men in separate shootings.
Miller, who was already designing custom R.I.P. T-shirts at her print shop, took on designing the program, although she had no experience. Since then has helped several hundred families who have had a loved one killed in street violence.
“When you walk into a church or funeral home, it’s the last thing to be passed out for that loved one,’’ she said. “It’s something that you take home, that you want to pull out years down the road, and show the next generation where they came from.”
Miller usually spends at two to three days working on a program. She also designs prayer cards, bookmarks, memorial cards and thank you notes.
“It’s important that they are done right,’’ she said. “Funeral programs are not about the living, but they are for the living”
Miller does her printing at First Impressions Printing in Hayward, a longtime wholesale operation specializing in envelopes and digital printing.
Owner Gary Stang said printing Miller’s business “Final Expressions,” is a “noble cause” that he’s happy to be a part of.
“It seemed like she was doing something to help the community and it was pretty easy to do something to help her,’’ Stang said.
Miller receives many client referrals from LeJon Loggins, who began doing funeral programs after his 23-year-old cousin, LeVer Crayton was killed in East Oakland in 2006.
“I stayed up several nights learning Photoshop to do the program, ‘’ he said. “Then I kept doing them. I wanted to let people know that this person was loved.”
That same year, Oakland saw 148 killings, a 57 percent jump from the previous year and Loggins was called upon more and more, he said.
“I started to see a lot of need,’’ Loggins said, adding that he has helped about 700 families with programs before he began referring clients to Miller several years ago.
One of those clients was Antioch resident Leona Njoku-Obi, who came to Miller after her 84-year-old father-in-law passed away in March.
“We wanted to honor his legacy, everything that he poured into us, we wanted to be able to share that with the people who were going to be attending the funeral,’’ said Njoku-Obi.
Njoku-Obi said she could have just as easily typed up a program and printed it at home.
“But that was not what we wanted. We wanted a last memory that would really represent who he was in life,’’ she said.
Njoke-Obi said Miller was “always caring, giving and gracious, even when Njoke-Obi asked for changes to the program at the last minute.
“Ever though she is dealing with death, she’s giving honor and life back to the families who are the survivors. And she does it with great passion and love. You can feel the love.”