Oakland mother channels grief over son's slaying into helping others
Mother channels grief over son's killing into helping others
After 18-year-old Khadafy Washington was shot and killed in 2000 in Oakland, his mother was awash in grief. She has since channeled her emotions into action.
OAKLAND, Calif. - After 18-year-old Khadafy Washington was shot and killed in 2000 in Oakland, his mother was awash in grief.
Marilyn Washington Harris said she was feeling as if no one was helping her navigate the aftermath. She has since channeled her emotions into action, embarking on what would become a decades-long effort to help other families navigate the aftermath of violence.
"I was so angry that I just couldn’t let my son die in vain," Harris told KTVU.
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She founded the Khadafy Washington Foundation, a nonprofit that supports grieving loved ones and helps them as they struggle with their loss. Over the years, that has grown to include not just gunshot victims but those who died from opioid and fentanyl-related deaths.
"I really feel grace and pride when I’m working with a family and helping them in such a way that they don’t have to go through as much of the hardships as we did," she said.
Son lost to gun violence
The backstory:
In August 2000, her son was killed on the McClymonds High School campus in West Oakland, just two months after he graduated. No arrests have been made.
She said she's able to dig deep to help others.
"But I’ll never get used to seeing families hurt after the death of their children – and not just 17 and 18 years old — 45, 56, those are someone’s children too," Harris said.
She has received numerous awards and accolades from mayors, police chiefs and the community.
"And I would give them all back just to have my son," Harris said.
She regularly contacts Oakland police
What they're saying:
Retired Oakland police Capt. Ersie Joyner said, "Miss Marilyn is like someone I’ve never met my entire life. In 10 years of homicide, I’ll tell you I learned from Miss Marilyn more about empathy, communication and meeting people where they are. I’ve never seen anyone as committed like that."
Joyner said he was always grateful when Harris walked in the door to help victims' families.
"I truly believe that in Miss Marilyn’s heart, she finds peace, she finds solace and she finds strength, and a way to do this work to help people who need her at a time when they need her the most," Joyner said.
Freelance writer Jim O'Brien is writing a book about Harris.
"Helping others heal is a healing act," O'Brien said. "But I am also certain that every time she meets another family that's been traumatized, that's lost a loved one, she's reminded of her own darkest places."
Harris said, "I hope and i pray that I don’t get to meet any new mothers and fathers — but if I do have to come out, I pray that you accept me in the way that I come. I come in peace. I come to help you."
Henry Lee is a KTVU crime reporter. E-mail Henry at Henry.Lee@fox.com and follow him on Twitter @henrykleeKTVU and www.facebook.com/henrykleefan
The Source: Interviews