Residents of a Berkeley neighborhood bring music and love to a dying neighbor
A group of Berkeley residents came together to bring music to a neighbor who had only days left to live. The residents were recognized by the Chris Kindness Award on Saturday, Dec. 9, 2023 in Berkeley, Calif. for their act of kindness and care. (Chris Kindness Award)
BERKELEY, Calif. - Tears, love and music flowed from the backyard of a Berkeley home, where dozens of residents gathered last month to serenade and honor a dying neighbor.
The residents came from three nearby streets, and over the years had gotten to know each other, creating a community that came to one another’s aid when a call was made.
So when their terminally ill neighbor, a man who loved music, returned home from the hospital to die, residents put out a call for the musicians in their community to lead a singalong in his honor.
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Within 48 hours, organizers managed to put together a song list of his favorite tunes and gathered in his garden to sing to him during the last weeks of his life.
Musicians came with their instruments, and voices filled the space where both sorrow and gratitude hung in the air.
The dying neighbor sat before the performers with his loved ones by his side, and he gently swayed to the music.
The song list was wide-ranging, from the Beatles’ "Let it Be" to "Sweet Child o' Mine," by Guns N’ Roses.
The neighbors also delivered moving lyrics written by Libby Rodrick that drew tears from the man’s eyes as they sang: "How could anyone ever tell you, you were anything less than beautiful? How could anyone ever tell you, you are less than whole? How could anyone fail to notice that your loving is a miracle? How deeply you’re connected to my soul?"
There was also the reverberating and soulful sound of Afro-Cuban drumming that was accompanied by collective claps from the neighbors as the man moved his head from side to side, along with the beat.
On Nov. 15, their friend died from pancreatic cancer. He was 39 years old and left behind his partner of 13 years and their two-year-old child.
"He was sent home to die with just days left, yet he made it for another almost 2 weeks," neighbor Nancy Silver told KTVU.
On Saturday, Silver and her neighbors were recognized for their humanity and care by a grassroots initiative in Berkeley known as the Chris Kindness Award.
Founded and funded by UC Berkeley Professor Alan Ross, the initiative seeks to inspire kindness in the community. Every month, Ross awards $1,000, from his own bank account, to a person who has demonstrated selfless acts that lift others.
This was the first time the award went to a group, as opposed to an individual, Ross said.
The person who nominated the singers wrote about the man and those he lived among.
"The neighbors knew about his love of music," the nominator shared, adding, "Almost 40 neighbors went into his garden on two Sunday afternoons, and they sang his favorite songs to him. The young man danced with the parts of his body he could still move."
Video, which the family requested not be shared publicly for privacy's sake, captured the emotions of the gathering. Many tears were shed. And at the end of their serenade, his neighbors called out to tell him how much they loved him, as they described him as being "simply the best."
Someone noted that no one else could've drawn a crowd like this, with only hours' notice.
In response, the man shared his gratitude and told his neighbors that he was energized by their visit and their moving expression of support.
"That was beautiful," he said. "Music is something very dear to me, and I feel my spirits lifted."
Silver said that the man was an integral part of their tight-knit neighborhood. She described him as their "unelected mayor," and a people-person who carried "a sunshine spirit with a quick, full smile."
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Silver recounted how, when he first moved into the neighborhood, he threw a housewarming party and invited all of his new neighbors.
"It was an affair to remember. He roasted a lamb and the entire dinner was catered. It was a beautiful February afternoon that rolled into evening," she recalled.
Silver said the man and his wife got married on their street, saying their vows in another neighbor’s backyard and then held a marriage parade in the neighborhood.
She recalled how, during the days of isolation when the coronavirus broke out, it was again music that brought the neighbors together. The man and his wife created a playlist and organized dance parties, with each household dancing in front of their own home.
"Some songs were about isolation and loneliness. But, there we were, connecting under the most unusual circumstances," Silver shared.
She said that while the community already had a foundation of connectedness even before the man became a part of it, he managed to bring them even closer.
"His forte was engaging all the neighbors in positive community activities, from yard sales to setting up tennis nets at the top of the street and inviting all the kids to come play," the neighbor explained.
And Silver said it was through the gift of music, which the man loved so much, that they got to demonstrate their appreciation for what he meant to them.
"It is no wonder that we came to sing to him. He touched our lives," she said. "It gave him joy to see all of us and hear us sing to him. Through song we expressed our love, support and our grief."